The Other Potter
by You'll Never Take Me Alive
Summary: Evangeline is Harry Potter's sister and loving protector, but as a curse placed on her when she was younger quietly tears them apart, Evangeline wonders if the curse her mother placed on her years ago was really what was best for her and her brother.


**A/N **So…I'm back! Can I just say right of the bat not to compare this new re-edited and re-written version of my story to anything I've previously written. A lot of the plot has changed, so bare with me and I'll leave it to the reader to decide if these changes were for the best...or the worst as the case may be. I originally wanted to re-write my old The Other Potter but I figured fans of the original would get annoyed if they had to keep reading back through the story to keep up with the changes, so I decided to take the story down and completely re-write it. This prologue is set in the Marauder era - you will see Evangeline as you know her at chapter 1, but until then...

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

Families have secrets that they keep even from themselves… Evangeline is Harry Potter's sister and loving protector, but as a curse placed on her when she was younger quietly tears them apart, Evangeline is forced to consider if her mother really knew what was best for her and her brother all those years ago.

**THE OTHER POTTER**_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>_

_20th November 1977_

I went into labour during a storm that nobody predicted. The wind was crashing against the house, and Nymphadora – Andromeda's young daughter – was cutting folded paper into Christmas snow flakes at the kitchen table.

"Lily!" Nymphadora cried, suddenly startled by the sharp rap of hail on the slider doors of the conservatory. I turned in time to see a second volley of hail strike the glass, this time creating a crack no bigger than my fingernail. As we watched the crack spider-webbed across the window until it was double the size of my fist.

"I'll fix it later" I said, resting my hand on the roundness of my pregnant stomach and wishing James was home.

And that was the moment that my water broke.

Nymphadora glanced down between my feet. "You had an accident" she giggled.

I reached for my wand and cast a Patronus, thinking of the baby I would be having only hours away.

"James it's me," I said to the doe that glittered in the dimly lit living room – the four year old I was looking after staring at it open mouthed. "I'm going into labor."

Suddenly I doubled over with a contraction so strong that my wand fell out of my hand and the doe abruptly disappeared. I saw Nymphadora watching, her eyes wide. "I'm fine," I lied, smiling until my cheeks hurt. "My hand slipped."

Unluckily it was Sirius who found me first.

"You can't be in labor" he said, bluntly – obviously ignoring the water between my legs and my strangled pants. "She's not supposed to come for another few weeks."

"I don't think the baby got the memo, Sirius" I snarled, through gritted teeth as I fought off anther contraction.

And then he suddenly seemed to believe me, his eyes growing wide with panic. "Oh shit," he said slowly, backing away from me. "Oh shit! What do I do? Do I get James? Do I get Mrs. Potter? They don't train you at Hogwarts for this kind of thing! _Shit_!"

"Don't swear in front of Nymphadora," I corrected - a flip response – as I slid down the wall to sit on the carpet.

"Tonks!" Sirius suddenly cried, seeing the small child for the first time, before turning back to me. "Lily what do I _do_?"

"I…don't…know. Just take…_Tonks_ home. Get James and-_oh, __Sirius_!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK!" Sirius practically yelled in my face. "I'll take Tonks and then I'll get you to St Mungo's by side-along apparition." He swung Nymphadora into his arms, and sounded terrified. "Where the _fuck _is James when you need him?"

"I can't do…side-along…apparition…you absolute…_idiot_ – I'm…pregnant!"

"Sure, sure-" Sirius muttered distractedly. "Just, err, stay there, and, and yeah. Just try not to have the kid until I come back?"

"For God's sake Sirius, _GO_!" I shrieked.

* * *

><p>The Healer taking care of me tries to distract me from my contractions by talking about the signs of the sun.<p>

"She's going to be a Scorpio" the woman says, rubbing my shoulders.

"Is that good?" I asked weakly.

"Oh, Scorpio's, they get the job done."

Inhale, exhale. "Good…to know."

Suddenly James burst through the doors of the ward, his glasses slightly askew, followed by Marlene, who sprints forwards and grabs my hand. "You okay? Have you asked for something for the pain?"

I look up at her through the hazy world of pain, thinking that my child couldn't have hoped for a more caring godmother. "I'll be fine when all this is over."

And then I look at James. He is not, like Sirius had, throwing a major freak-out – instead his face is glowing with an uncontained happiness.

To someone who had fought Voldemort, a routine hospital delivery was probably something to shrug at. If my water had broken in a train wreck or in the back of a taxi –

"I know what you're thinking" James says, although I haven't spoken a word out loud. "And you're wrong. I'm scared senseless." He grabs my other hand and kisses my knuckles.

I wonder if the baby will have my red hair, or my fiery temper and freckles. I wonder if she will have James' nose or his ability to love so deeply.

Suddenly an anchor uncoils inside me. The chain, thick as a fist, twists in my abdomen. "Mar" I gasp. "Get the Healer."

All I can think of for the next few minutes is the spasms of my muscles as I push, and the voices of Marlene and James thick in my ears.

The doctor cradles her head, slips the gorgeous chord free of her neck and delivers her shoulder by shoulder.

I struggle to my elbows as the Healer cleans my baby off, clutching James' hand desperately as I try to see past him, to the tiny thing swathed in a towel in his arms.

"Here you go Mum" the nurse says, and suddenly she's there. With me.

Her face is tiny and red, her large vivid green eyes staring up at me, an amusing shocked expression on her face, as if she can barely remember how she came into this new, bright world.

Marlene gasps from next to me. "She's _adorable_, what name did you decide on?"

James looks at me and I nod. "Evangeline" I murmur, barely able to take my eyes off of her. And as if in response to her name, Evangeline's tiny hand curls around my finger and I smile to myself: she is like James, I decide.

She is never letting me go.

_Earlier that day._

"_Damn__it_, James" I swore, as James Potter's bishop crushed my queen. I lit a cigarette quickly and took out what was probably a life-saving drag to calm my nerves.

"I told you I was good."

"Shut up."

The door to my tiny apartment opened and Marlene walked in, vanishing the snow from her shoes and coat.

"You haven't seen Remus, have you?"

"You mean Moony?" I asked, never taking me eyes off of the chessboard. "Pawn to C6" I added, effectively dispatching James' knight.

"You _bitch_," he gasped, sitting up rather quickly from his relaxed position on _my_only couch.

"_Excuse __me?_"

"Not you, Marlene. I meant Sirius" James said, and then to me: "How the hell did you do that? You haven't taken a chess piece from me in five years."

"It was bound to happen one of these days Prongs," I said, yawning and leaning back against the wall.

"Hello? Am I speaking to air here? Have any of you seen Remus?"

"He dropped by here half an hour ago, God you woman are so clingy."

"Careful, Sirius" James muttered to me, but Marlene did not appear to have heard, because she pulled a face and said: "I guess I'll have to check back at the house, then, I just worry about him on the day before the full moon and….Sirius what are you doing smoking _my _cigs!"

She marched over and grabbed the nearly empty packet from next to the chessboard. "What are you doing?" I whined.

"You could have asked!"

"The wizarding world's at war and you're getting pissy because your fiancé's best friend borrowed a cigarette?"

"You use the term borrow, I use the term _nicked._"

"Well…"

"Don't nick anymore of my stuff Black."

"I'm not promising anything _McKinnon_."

She huffed and walked into my kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I yelled.

"_Borrowing _a cup of tea."

I turned to look aghast at James who was busying adjusting his glasses; he caught the look on my face and shrugged. "Fair enough, I guess."

I scowled. "Moony must be mental for wanting to marry _that_."

"You said close to the same thing about Lily once upon a time," James reminded me, returning his gaze to the chessboard.

"Yeah well Lily's half-decent _now_."

"I'm glad you some-what approve of my wife – bishop to E2."

Marlene came back out of the kitchen warming her hands around a mug of steaming hot tea and sat on the floor in between James and me.

For a while we all sat in silence, content to either watch or partake in the simple game of chess.

James adjusted his glasses again – a nervous tick of his – and I rolled my eyes, taking another long drag of my cigarette. "You know, you're going to have to tell me why you're acting so girlie eventually Potter – are you worried about baby Prongs?"

James sighed and ruffled his messy hair with his hand, not looking up from the chess board.

"Lily's…um…pregnant."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "And we all know that James…in fact we've known for _around _9 months."

The former Quidditch Captain and Head Boy took a few seconds to respond, and when he did, the effort it took him to keep his eyes fixed on the chessboard was much more pronounced. "I-er-well I'm worried about being a Dad, I guess, and all that…stuff."

I turned to Marlene – because girls were always so much better at the emotional crap than guys – and waited for her answer.

She didn't realize it, but I enjoyed her company. I got a kick out of flustering her, which truthfully, wasn't really all that hard, and I loved that I was one of the people that saw underneath the all-business Auror exterior to the women that – to her chagrin - actually smoked.

Her eyes were a pale grey that made you think of nightfall and silver bullets and the edge of winter. The colour that filled the sky before it was torn in half by lightening.

And she was my best mate's fiancé.

Who happened to have an amazing ass.

I swallowed the bitter taste in the back of my mouth and muttered about going out for some air. Once outside the flat, I shut my eyes, spun on my foot and apparated to the Potter's house.

_12th January 1978_

I sat at a table of a muggle café with Mary and Reg – it was one of Remus's favorites, 'Rosie's', and it resided directly at the heart of Bath. The wireless was on, and as the chatter of couples within the café was barely louder than a dull rumble I could catch lines coming from it.

_Police in London are rushing towards numerous house fires scattered around the city as we speak. We're turning to Patrick Cormier – Chief of Police – for further information. Patrick, what can you tell us about- _

Mary and Reg were talking about experiences in Hogwarts that I barely heard. My mind and ears drifted. I didn't _want_to think about all those dead Muggles, but I knew if I'd been on the clock I would be over there with Kinglsey and Frank and Alice Longbottom, clearing up the whole mess. But as it stood, Remus had somehow managed to force me to take hours off and here I was. Useless. Doing nothing in some ridiculous Muggle café in Sommerset.

I took a deep breath, stirring my coffee idly.

_There are a total of fifteen fires that we know of right about now. All started at precisely the same time: at 3pm this afternoon. _

My eyes drifted around the café, to a table occupied by three men. It was the strangest thing, as I looked over: I very definatly recognized at least one of them. The one with black, greasy hair…As I looked I noticed them shift almost imperceptibly – turning their heads away from me as if they had been watching my table.

That was odd.

I glanced at Mary who was still chatting with Reg – completely oblivious. Neither me, nor Mary, were wearing anything particularly revealing. And the happy couple didn't seem to be doing anything to warrant scrutiny from the Muggles.

I was used to people of the opposite sex looking at me: it was the curse of curves and blond hair.

_The Signal 1000 went out at approximately three minutes after the fires started. Most of our fire units within central London rushed to the area._

And then a chill ran through me.

I _did _recognize the one with greasy hair, and he wasn't a Muggle. That was Severus Snape. A Death Eater.

I glanced again at Mary and Reg. Both were in inconspicuous jobs, neither a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Which meant they were most likely here for me.

I wasn't being looked at. I was being watched.

I slipped my hand into my pocket to grasp my wand and stood up, barely aware of my mouth forming the feeble excuse to Mary and Reg as to why I was leaving.

The three men noticed my departure and rose from their seats too.

I kept my eyes fixed on the door, the speed of my walk so fast I was almost running. Once outside I ran down an empty alley, turning on my foot to try to apparate away. But I couldn't. Anti-disapperation wards. I could hear the pursuit of the men behind me and drew my wand, turning to face them. The last words of the radio were ringing in my ears.

_So Patrick what does Signal 1000 mean? _

The man on the radio had hesitated and then admitted quietly: _life __or __death._

_That same day. _

As I checked on the cookies that were baking in the oven I heard James enter the kitchen. "Hey…" I said over my shoulder, "have you eaten yet?"

"Not recently."

"Are you hungry?"

I could almost hear the smile in his voice as he replied: "almost always."

"So how do you feel about Lasagna tonight?"

"Generally positive."

"Good, because it's all we have in the house at the moment."

"Want me to go out and get some food with Sirius?"

"How could I trust you two not to come back with bag-fulls of Jelly Slugs and Firewhisky? I'll go tomorrow."

"It wounds me that we've been through so much together and you still can't trust me to go shopping for food."

I laughed and shook my head. "Is Evangeline sleeping?"

"She just dropped off a few minutes ago. Smells good – what are you cooking?"

This was the language of married life: Morse code punctuated by dinners and hushed talking in the dining room and bed time stories.

"Cookies, I was feeling hungry."

James was quiet for a second as he took in the Prophet head-line from the rickety dining room table.

"These fires in London…why weren't we called in?"

"I think they wanted to leave us alone for a while – with Evangeline and everything."

James, a full-time member of the Order of the Phoenix simply by default as the degree of his family's wealth meant he barely even had to contemplate a job, did not look happy about this.

"It's been three months" he said. "I can fight."

"I know. _I __know_, James, but I…I…"

"You're worried that something'll happen to me."

I hesitated, and then nodded. "Lily, nothings happened to me before – a few scratches maybe –"

"You call that run in with that Inferi a _scratch_?"

"-My _point_, is that I can't stay holed up here whilst everyone's risking their lives!"

I thought of Evangeline sleeping upstairs. "James…"

"Lily, I'm doing this," he said, stubbornly.

And I understood – really, I did. In my previous life I had been about to sign up for training in the Auror program. At one point I truly believed that was what I wanted to be – but that was before I'd been handed a fistful of crushed violets by a toddler, before our baby.

"I know you are" I admitted, and James's expression relaxed visibly. I turned to take the cookies out of the oven. "What's your favorite, all butter or chocolate chip?"

"Hmm, difficult decision…"

"Don't tease me," I said settling the trays on a heat-proof mat.

James picked up a spatula and lifted a cookie off the sheet, then bounced it from palm to palm as it cooled.

"Hey, watch it. Love and care went into those and if you drop it –"

"Seeker, remember?" he teased.

"Tell me if they're okay – I never really got the chance to learn how cook when I was younger, I'm still working the whole thing out. I'm surprised we haven't starved already."

James looked up. "But we'd die happy," he took a bite. "These are good, Lily. You're underestimating yourself."

I shook my head. "So far we've normally been round Marlene's for dinner every night. You don't realize how bad I am. I set my oven on fire when I was 15 cooking a TV dinner. I didn't take it out of the box. Cookies are my whole repertoire so far."

"And lasagna" James pointed out.

"And lasagna."

A pause and then: "What's a TV dinner?"

"It's a meal that you eat in front of a Muggle thing called a TV. You watch things on it called programs, which are basically people acting out a story."

"Sounds boring."

"_You _asked!"

"And now I wish I hadn't."

I rolled my eyes. "I guess cooking isn't too hard. When you get right down to it, it's exactly like Potions."

"God, Moony was awful at that. It was the one subject he couldn't let us copy his notes in."

"Nice, James."

"I try."

We were silent for a second; I could almost _hear _Evangeline's steady breathing upstairs, see her tiny form curled up in the cot. She was...what? almost 2 months now...

"Do you miss it Lily?" he asked quietly.

I turned to look at him. "Miss what?"

"Hogwarts."

I thought for a second. "Sometimes. I miss the lessons, the dormitory. But I have a new life now." I was quiet for a second before glancing at James. "You?"

"Pretty similar, I guess. I miss the secret passages and all that. I miss being in the Marauders."

"You still _are _in the Marauders. Except you cause havoc with Sirius, Peter and Remus _here _instead of at Hogwarts."

James opened his mouth to reply, but before he could respond, there was a shattering _crack _from outside, and then a thump on the door as it opened.

Marlene strode into the kitchen, her wand arm cradled by her other against her chest, her clothes bloodied. Immediately, her eyes found mine and she stared at me long and hard.

"Whoever taught Severus Snape _sectumsempra_" she croaked finally, "is a bastard." And then she fainted.

_13th January 1978, Early One Morning._

The first thing the Muggle groundskeeper saw when he went to tend to the small cemetery behind St Paul's was the body that someone had forgotten to bury.

He was lying on top of a grave, head pressed close to the headstone, shallow cuts and scratches all over his pale arms. He was almost as white as the seven faded granite markers that surrounded him.

The groundskeeper took a deep breath, dropped his trowel, and leaned slowly over the body, casting a slim shadow over it.

Somewhere overhead a gull screamed and the body's eyes' flew open. The groundskeeper turned and ran.

* * *

><p><em>Beat.<em>

_Beat._

_Beat. _

My eyes flew open and I looked at the sky for several seconds. I didn't know where I was, but it was quiet: and since my head was pounding I was grateful.

I sat up and touched the gravestone, the letters etched onto it dipping and blurring before my eyes. I pulled myself to my feet and balanced against the stone for support, and then I leaned over and retched.

"A church" I groaned aloud. "This is a church. And I'm a werewolf."

I walked to the gate and stared at the surrounding countryside.

"Think" I commanded myself. I put a hand to my forehead and felt the slip of my own blood.

"Jesus" I said. My hand was trembling. I wiped the blood from my hand onto my trouser leg and blinked again.

My head was throbbing; a drumbeat that threatened to split me in two. I could barely remember who I was. I always felt like this after a full moon – the occupational hazard of being a werewolf.

I sank to the ground and lay back against the grave stone again, pulling my thin jacket close around me to ward off the chill of the earth.

I would wait until I remembered, I decided.

A few minutes passed and then a slow smile spread across my face.

Evangeline. I had a god-daughter called Evangeline Potter.

_2nd December 1980_

I lifted my face to the spray of the shower - the water so hot it stole my breath, steamed the windows. I counted to ten and then finally ducked away from under the stream to stand naked and dripping in front of the mirror in our tiny bathroom in our equally tiny flat. My face was scarlet, my hair stuck to my shoulders in thick ropes. I traced that ugly scar down my arm the Severus Snape had given me back in January.

I turned sideways, scrutinizing my flat belly, I ran my hand over it, trying to feel some sort of imaginary bump. Remus didn't want children. Well, no. He didn't think it was _right _for us to have children. Apparently, there was a difference. I chewed on my lip, regarding myself in the mirror again. But what about what _I _wanted? Didn't I get a say in that decision too?

"Marlene?"

"Yes?" I called, panicking and scrambling for a towel to wrap around myself.

"Lily and James are here - they're dropping off Evangeline for the day."

And the moment he said that Evangeline's laughter rose like steam through the window. After three days of torrential downpour in Britain, she sounded delighted to be outside. James was probably trying to teach her to walk - _the sooner she can walk, the sooner we can get her on a broom_, he had always laughed.

It was difficult for James and Lily to raise two children once Harry was born - especially as they were in hiding and life was becoming more and more dangerous - so Remus and I often helped out with looking after Evangeline.

I quickly pulled on jeans and a sweater and then ducked into the guest room - which was really Evangeline's, as she was the only person who'd ever stayed in there - and tried to navigate the Muggle LEGO pieces and story books so that I could set the new PJ's I got her down on her bed. Lily would kill me for spoiling her child.

That evening Evangeline and I lay on top of the rickety kitchen table staring up at the ceiling and at the water-marks on it that looked like pure-bred horses.

I gently kissed the crown of her head and murmured the places I wanted those horses to take me - places I had never been: San Francisco, Berlin, France. Away from the War, away from Death Eaters that watched me.

Several times that night Evangeline would call out to Remus, who was moonlighting as a closet astronomer and in the day desperately searching for a job, and tried to draw his attention to the ceiling. She asked him over and over again to look, but he could never see the horses.

When she looked questioningly at me, I told her we would just have to help him see them. I held her high on my shoulders as I balanced on a low stool and handed her a black marker and told her to trace what she saw. Then I gave her crayons to colour them in with - one was brown with a white star, one strawberry roan, the other two jet black. I added in the muscular forelegs for her, the strain of their backs, and then we both stood back to admire our work.

At little over one I doubted Evangeline understood why, when Remus came in and saw what we'd done, he was furious, or why I just laughed at him. Or why, when Sirius came in a few hours later he just twirled Evangeline in his arms and winked at me and told the small toddler how lucky she was to have such a wonderful god mother.

_17th June 1981_

"If I won't let you buy me a drink," I asked, "then what makes you think I'll take a bottle of wine from you?"

Sirius grinned at me. "I'm not giving it to you. I'm going to open it, and you might choose to _borrow _some."

As he said this he was already walking into my kitchen and randomly opening and closing drawers until he found a corkscrew.

I folded my arms, not because I was cold, but because it somehow felt wrong to have Sirius in my kitchen. To be drinking wine with him.

I watched him remove two wine glasses from the cabinet and pour.

"To being unemployed," he said, toasting with a wink.

I smiled slightly and murmured "to being unemployed."

When it looked like Voldemort had finally gotten a grip on the Ministry I left my post at the Auror office. But that was three months ago, from then on until now I'd been a full-time Order member.

"Do you ever just want to leave? Forget all this is going on?"

I lifted my glass of wine and drained it. "Sometimes." I hesitated, "what happened with you and Remus last week - when you went to rescue that Muggle family?"

Sirius met my gaze, and I could see him deciding how much to tell me. "There were Dementors everywhere" he began quietly. "And when we got rid of them we went into the house, and I thought everyone was dead - there was blood everywhere - and then the little girl moved -" his voice broke. "She's an orphan now."

"You know you're brave, don't you?"

The corner of Sirius' mouth twitched. "I'm a coward. The only reason I went into that building is because I knew I'd have nightmares for the rest of my life if I didn't."

I reached forward and took his empty wineglass from him. This close he smelt of smoke and evergreen. "Maybe you should try not sleeping."

His grey eyes met my blue ones. "Marlene," he said softly, "you need to know-"

"No. Sirius. I know - I _know_ - I can't - just...don't."

I didn't know what was supposed to happen next - but it would be random, unpredictable, uncomfortable. I was getting ready to push him away but Sirius' s hands anchored me in place. "I love you, Marlene," he whispered, and then he kissed me.

When feeling came back, in a storm of force and colour and sensation, I closed my eyes and expected the worst - but it wasn't a bad thing; it was just a different thing. A messier; more complicated one. I hesitated, and then kissed Sirius back, willing to concede I might have to lose control before I could find out what I'd been missing.

_Hours later_

I walked across the bridge. It was almost dawn, Sirius was asleep at the flat. I'd panicked when I'd woken to see him lying next to me - Remus would be coming home from an Order mission later today, and where would that leave me?

Suddenly something hard hit me from behind and I was thrown off my feet. A rough voice muttered another incantation and my wand was whipped from my pocket and clattered to the floor somewhere behind me.

I moved my right knee, and my right hand. My left knee, and my left hand, trying to crawl away. I was breathing hard, not because it was difficult but because I couldn't believe it was so easy to be trapped.

There was a rumble from the grey clouds above and drops of water began to fall as if the sky was crying.

I still couldn't see my attacker.

"_Crucio_."

Pain rippled through me. "Help" I said, but I couldn't talk and scream at the same time.

"_Imperio_."

You would have thought I'd have been scared, as the voice inside my head told me to get up, to move towards the edge of the bridge, but I wasn't.

_"Jump_."

My legs moved of their own accord and suddenly there was no ground beneath my feet and I was falling towards the river below.

The water sucked at me all at once. I tried to swim to the surface but something wouldn't let me.

I closed my eyes.

_It built up in my stomach and my chest, the feeling, as if I were spiraling in on myself. I could feel Sirius holding back, tensed like a puma until I was ready. I wrapped my arms around him and together we came. I loved the way he arched his neck and exhaled as he opened his eyes as if he wasn't quite sure where he was or how he had got there. I loved knowing I had done that to him. __Sirius cupped my face in his hands and told me he loved me. He kissed me, but instead of passion I felt protection. I curled myself up against the hollow of his chest and together we fell asleep waiting for what would come next._

As water filled my nose and mouth, as the sun got tinier and tinier above me, I tried to remember everything.

I took one last gasp of breath and instead water flooded my lungs.

_I'm so sorry. _

But as my eyes drifted shut even I couldn't tell if the apology was for Sirius, for Remus or for myself.

_18th June 1981_

"Where's Marlene? What happened?" I asked frantically, balancing Evangeline on my hip as I stared at Remus.

"There was a Death Eater attack Lily" he managed, and then his eyes filled up. "Oh God this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Not to her."

Evangeline looked between me and Remus with her big green eyes.

"Where's Marlene?" Her words pecked at me. "Why isn't Marlene here?"

"James, take Evangeline," I murmured, but as he reached for her, Evangeline began to struggle. "Mummy? Where's Marlene? Mummy!"

"Honey, Marlene's not here any more."

"_When_ is she coming back?"

I looked at James helplessly, and he sighed, stroking her hair softly. "She's not coming back Eva. She's gone."

* * *

><p>The nights after Marlene left us I would stand in her and Moony's kitchen and try to feel her there. I would try to hear the hills and valleys of her voice. And then when it had been three full months, Remus took whitewash and rolled it across the ceiling, erasing everything she'd drawn there inch by inch, until it looked as if the horses, and Marlene, had never even been there at all.<p>

I never told him. Deep down I knew that, really, she had been his all along, and he had always been hers.

_21st October 1981_

"I went to see my parents today."

"I know."

"How could you know?"

"You haven't said three words since you got home. You're a million miles from here - you're not usually like that so I figured you must have been to see your parents."

"Well, only about twenty miles away. Cambridge isn't so far, but you're a London girl; what could you know?"

"Very funny, James. What did they say?"

"_She_. I wasn't going to visit when Dad was home. I went after I'd been to see Dumbledore about my mission today."

"I didn't know you had another mission-"

"Lily, let's not start this again."

"So - what did she say?"

"I don't remember. She wanted to see a picture of Harry's first birthday."

"You didn't talk to her? You didn't sit down and have tea and crumpets and all that?"

"We're British, but we're not _that _British."

"You know what I mean."

"No, we did not sit down and have _tea_. We didn't sit down at all. I was there for ten minutes, tops."

"Was it very hard seeing her again?...Why are you looking at me like that? What?"

"How can you do it? Just cut to the heart of that matter like that?"

"Well, _was _it?"

"...No."

"_James_."

"Are you going to turn off the light, I want to go to sleep."

"Sure."

"Lily? Do we have that picture of Harry on the broom? I want to send it to Sirius."

"Yes. It's a good picture."

"...Are you alright?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Oh. Yes. I'm just thinking."

"Worrying?"

"Yes. What happens to _them _if something happens to _us_?"

"We're talking about Evangeline and Harry?"

"Who else would I be talking about?"

"My mind just instantly jumped to Sirius..."

"_James_."

"_Lily_...nothing'll happen to us."

"Make sure of that. Because...I was just thinking I can't wait to be with them both on their first day of Hogwarts, I can't wait to help Evangeline to pick out a dress for her wedding - to take Harry to his first Quidditch match."

"Lily?"

"Mmm?"

"They're both pretty attractive kids aren't they?"

"Isn't that a bit of a pretentious thing to say?"

"Well, I mean Harry's good-looking isn't he?"

"James, love, he looks exactly like you."

_31st October 1981_

It's raining.

When I come out of the bathroom with Evangeline freshly washed, her damp hair almost dark gold, I see James playing with Harry on the living room floor. I sit on the rug beside him, staring out of the window - watching the raindrops make their kamikaze suicide missions from the sky to the ground.

"You want the shower first?"

James glances at me, the crooked smile on his face that I love so much, "You go ahead" he tells me "I could always just step outside instead."

"The weathers horrible, isn't it?"

"One of the better days to be stuck in doors" he agrees, sourly. He hates it, being trapped inside - and he can't go out because Dumbledore took the invisibility cloak.

Evangeline wanders up to the window, her hand starfish splayed against the glass, her nose pressed up tight against it.

"Daddy" she says slowly, "there's someone outside."

* * *

><p>It's raining.<p>

The water drips down my face, plastering my hair to my forehead.

I lay the flowers onto Marlene's grave - a collection of poppies.

For a long time I could only see her sinking. I pictured her, her skin pale blue and her hair streaming out behind her like a mermaid's. I would wake up yelling, beating the mattress with my hands as if I could drag her out of the water to safety.

Lily had once told me, that no one was going to win. Each side would fight their hardest until the other gave out, and even then it wouldn't be over. Too many people had died. Too many people were gone who couldn't be replaced.

I close my eyes and pray to God I won't have to be lying flowers on anyone else's grave.

* * *

><p>"Lily, take Evangeline and Harry and run!"<p>

"_No!_" My eyes turn glassy with tears. I reach for James but he shoves me closer to the stairs - away from him.

"Lily, we always said if this happened you'd take the kids and run!"

"I've changed my mind! I'm not leaving you!"

He looks at me, and then draws me in to kiss me hard. I'm crying too much to kiss him back. He smells of spearmint - he loves the smell of baking cookies - his favourite month is November just because no one else likes it -

"I love you" he whispers, and then he pushes Harry into my arms. "Now go, _run_!"

I flee up the stairs, concentrating hard on getting air into my lungs. There are so many things I have to work hard at now, that I used to be able to carry out instinctively - draw in oxygen, protect my children, do the right thing. I run into Harry's bed room and settle him into his cot.

_James. _

Beat.

_James._

A flash of green light.

I kneel down in front Evangeline, crying so hard I cannot catch my breath.

I take out my wand and point it at her and the spell comes from my lips like water flooding through a broken dam.

"We weren't supposed to die," I whispered to my two children. "We were supposed to see you grow up. We were supposed to grow old together."

I hear the creek of the third step.

"Love you."


End file.
